Yesterday
i seriously feel like im going to be the last in my class. i suck at everything!!!! im sucha failure in life. im so freakiinn pissed at myself!! i screwed up the most important paper yet and whats worst, i studied really hard and before the exam, i could even teach ok?? and its the proper things that i taught. i was so pissed at myself!! i could 'proudly' say that i lost a freaking 30 marks out of the 100 marks paper. omg!!! its like i can really thank God if i can get a C,D or F.. but if i really do get an 'F', i think i'll just drop out! its like whats the point. lowest in class? "wow, tse lyn, thats an accomplishment! great job..." i can't possibly say that to ME!!!!
maths test ytd was ok..after that defeating paper, i felt really down. even though i'm always smiling ,laughing and joking on the outside, inside, im so weak and small . no one truly understands how i feel . im vulnerable and weak. anyways, test was open book and i could really kill myself if i failed that test! math is my only way to turn my whole mood around. serious!
web design was ok. seriously, i think if im in design school, or business, i could ace.. even though i know its gonna be a little harder than i thought, but at least i'd would have to deal with it as a course which im interested in. do you understand?? seriously, im doing hws for the sake of doing it and its totally like no use to society ok? imagine doing programming, html, hows that going to benefit the society??? IT is definitely out of my league... shit!!!
Today
dad sent me to school. programming in the morning totally ruined my goody mood. cause i blamed myself for getting shitty results in my quiz.. and whats more, its open book!! i was utterly disappointed at myself. i mean what the point of getting shitty results !!! it doesnt even contribute to anything. oh my, im so screwed!!! maths lecture wasnt so bad. lecturer came late so we had a few minutes to do our comm skills project. i didnt have to do much cause i was the presenter... talking in front of the class.wee... okok, i think im excited but im going to get butterflies nearer to the presentation date. i was deprived of presenting projects in secondary school and i seriously hope i can do well in my presentations and get good grades.
trained home w qifeng, saberina and jane. slept through the whole afternoon till 6 and i mean, how am i going to get good grades with my slackened attitude! im so pissed at myself!!!
mom told me ytd that her poly girl who was btw a N'level student , got 18pts for her o'levels, she went to NP real estate. didnt chiong for her 1st sem but in the 2nd sem. and in the end, she got a GPA of 3.1... it didnt even qualify her to get into a local U. so what i am i to do? at this rate, im going to get a GPA of 0.1 ok???
im just so screwed!! i a failure in life!
tselyn au revoir
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pissed off - Tuesday, June 03, 2008 @ 3:51 AM
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pissed off - Tuesday, June 03, 2008 @ 3:51 AM
Yesterday
i seriously feel like im going to be the last in my class. i suck at everything!!!! im sucha failure in life. im so freakiinn pissed at myself!! i screwed up the most important paper yet and whats worst, i studied really hard and before the exam, i could even teach ok?? and its the proper things that i taught. i was so pissed at myself!! i could 'proudly' say that i lost a freaking 30 marks out of the 100 marks paper. omg!!! its like i can really thank God if i can get a C,D or F.. but if i really do get an 'F', i think i'll just drop out! its like whats the point. lowest in class? "wow, tse lyn, thats an accomplishment! great job..." i can't possibly say that to ME!!!! maths test ytd was ok..after that defeating paper, i felt really down. even though i'm always smiling ,laughing and joking on the outside, inside, im so weak and small . no one truly understands how i feel . im vulnerable and weak. anyways, test was open book and i could really kill myself if i failed that test! math is my only way to turn my whole mood around. serious! web design was ok. seriously, i think if im in design school, or business, i could ace.. even though i know its gonna be a little harder than i thought, but at least i'd would have to deal with it as a course which im interested in. do you understand?? seriously, im doing hws for the sake of doing it and its totally like no use to society ok? imagine doing programming, html, hows that going to benefit the society??? IT is definitely out of my league... shit!!! Today dad sent me to school. programming in the morning totally ruined my goody mood. cause i blamed myself for getting shitty results in my quiz.. and whats more, its open book!! i was utterly disappointed at myself. i mean what the point of getting shitty results !!! it doesnt even contribute to anything. oh my, im so screwed!!! maths lecture wasnt so bad. lecturer came late so we had a few minutes to do our comm skills project. i didnt have to do much cause i was the presenter... talking in front of the class.wee... okok, i think im excited but im going to get butterflies nearer to the presentation date. i was deprived of presenting projects in secondary school and i seriously hope i can do well in my presentations and get good grades. trained home w qifeng, saberina and jane. slept through the whole afternoon till 6 and i mean, how am i going to get good grades with my slackened attitude! im so pissed at myself!!! mom told me ytd that her poly girl who was btw a N'level student , got 18pts for her o'levels, she went to NP real estate. didnt chiong for her 1st sem but in the 2nd sem. and in the end, she got a GPA of 3.1... it didnt even qualify her to get into a local U. so what i am i to do? at this rate, im going to get a GPA of 0.1 ok??? im just so screwed!! i a failure in life! tselyn au revoir |
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