i've been feeling a sense of unbelonging in EI0803.i dono why i feel this way. its just a sudden feeling. weird. results will be coming out soon and i have an urge to get out of this class. mb, its because of the different cliques and all. the kuai kias STUDYING everyday after school and unknowingly giving me huge pressure. this kind of pressure just accumulates and i don know when i will explode.ok, mb not to the extend of explode but i think you peeps get what i mean. right?
ive made some friends in my 4 months in NYP. friends. not good ones. i mean, not BFFs. i dono how to put it la. its like friends that you can crap along and talk. thats all. not ones that you can tell them everything. its not that i dont trust them or what but i seriously have no idea. these past few weeks into holidays, we have drifted apart from our usual hangouts and all. found back familarity with secondary school friends and kindda lost touch with one another. even though, some of us might be working with one another, its a different feeling. we dont talk as much as i want to. even if my friends are workin there, SO WHAT! i dono la.

the thought of just having NYP as a back-up plan is seriously killing me!! what if i dont make it to tp? will people think i just say i want to go to tp for fun and totally outcast me or will they treat me normally? its a question i ponder every other day.

its funny how life works right? its a cycle. watched tyra show today. this lady said somethign which i totaly agree. MONEY CAN'T BUY BACK TIME !'. since life is a cycle, why can't we just go back in time to mend what we have done wrong? i mean, I WANT TO RETAKE my PSLE. get into express and go in JC. but can i? NO!! funny huh.

this feeling has been hauntin me and i hope that people wouldnt mind me havin this kind of feeling. i can fully understand if u all hate me or what. its a crazy world, i know. but, after i pour this out, i ain't gonna probe on this anymore. i swear.

btw, i totally hate these group of people. shan't say their names but im just beginning to hate their actions. dont worry peeps, its not the workin gang in SEAB. ok, mb only 1 bah. go ahead and guess. i think you all can see how my attitude has change towards this person:>
im not proud of my behavior but what to do?
I AM ME!

work 2moro.
tselyn au revoir